Chapter 7 The Will, The Time and The Love! Spiders and Cobwebs

"The best way of living the good life is the simple, find someone who is good and be like him or her. Having a good role model in your life is always the way to bring out the best in yourself".

When I consider and reflect on the emotional roller coaster, the travel, the personal growth, the new look me is someone I like. 

I have clarity, I am conscious that I am one lucky lady and I am blessed as I have opportunities and capabilities to embrace many of life’s treasures that are often hidden from view. I have also been given an opportunity to work for  love, big and small love, in areas that I am passionate about and I have my personal independence. My freedom within. I have faith that my life is safe in my hands, in the hands of love and desire.

But mostly I have the love of family and friends that regardless of what, where and why they continue to support and provide a much needed grounding and unconditional support through big love. 

I am prepared for the final challenge relating to my past, I have strength and a conviction that my needs will be met that is both just and fair. As I  am slowly preparing for the return to Australia from Bali, my thoughts have been busier than what I have become accustomed to since practicing my daily meditation program.   

 I am whimsical, I am unsure that I will return to Bali and I am uncertain of the reception in my home town. I am chattering! I have a minimal sum of funds in my bank account. I have ceased working for my employer in Thailand and yet I remain positive. 

Positive that I am managing the journey of my life and that I do not own the sadness that once accompanied me when I was required to meet demands associated with the past! I am free within and mostly I have the ability to forgive!

Sure I am anxious to gain my financial independence in order to truly transcend and begin living life with the matters of the past closed for good. Yet I am comfortable, comfortable that I will be cared for both in the physical and in my faith that I will receive what is right and I will live with abundance. 

I look, I listen and I reflect. How do I feel? Is this journey worth my attention? Worth the pain, the challenge? The self exile in Bali has been mostly  tinged with sadness, with much searching inwards and lonely physically, yet, I have learned more than I could imagine. I have learned to be quiet with myself. To be gentle and allow the hurt to surface, to question and mostly to reflect with satisfaction that I am seeing very clearly how I can live my life. I have discovered that often people are not given a vehicle a body that is beautiful, I have discovered that others are not living to their potential as they struggle with the negative forces that exsist in all of us and around our solar system. Yet, I am, for the first time in my life comfortable with loving and displaying love to all I meet regardless of their behavior towards me or others. I Live my life happily as one! 

 I see friends, I consider their own relationships, the games, the unhappiness, the pretense and I now wonder what I have thought was missing from my life!  

How does a relationship, a couple remain identified with the one, the individual and yet passionate for the life as a couple? How does one remain true with the love and in life of couples? Couples, who are two, sharing a life as one! If I consider the ones, the individuals, of two, a couple, how do I feel? Am I capable in this life to commit to one? 

Is this couple or marriage, the life of love, or eventually a responsibility, a friendship with fringe benefits, or can I possibly achieve the will, the ongoing desire to protect and honor the individuals and the couple?

The very position I lived and almost died, metaphorically, for, would I permit myself to experience this again? 

Do I believe in, trust the concept of  "forever", "soul mates", "kindred spirits", the small love? 

Without the ideal of a couple,of two, then where am I heading? 

I am a sexual being, though believe my sexuality is linked intrinsically with love and oneness. Yet am I not being faithful to my self after years of struggle and strife. and can I possibly love with young abandonment and yet remain independent and faithful to myself. What does this bond or tie have that is so attractive?

How do I trust myself, to rise to the challenge, to have faith in one person? Ooh, the game of life and love of the small kind is one that has many questions rather than answers.

Packed and ready to leave this beautiful Island, I again ponder and wonder if I will return. I wonder what is in front of me, out of view, not seen. I wonder if I can trust in another for that small love, without the fears of hurt and destruction often associated with couples.

One week later and I have began my study of life, my life work has began. Finally, I am convinced that my life will have greater meaning, and more purpose than ever before. I have reopened the story book, the journey I began in youth. I have a belief in the universe, a belief that we can be as were when we took our first breathe. 

I am on the verge of becoming the person I was!  

Sydney, beautiful Sydney! How fortunate am I? I have the bay surrounding me, the sea, the wild sea within my eyesight. I can almost reach the sky from the rooftop of my temporary home .I have a clear view of the Sydney harbor!  I am safe! I am warm and I am fed within the loving arms of my sister, her partner and their friends.

As I continue to comprehend the possibility of small love, of the love for one, as a couple, a union, a marriage,  I have the urge to just enjoy the ride of life, without all the expectations that I once held as my right.

I like many desire to be part of a healthy team, a couple, a couple made up of two. How is this achieved and what do I need to learn in order to remain in love with me whilst loving honestly with another? The small love! I suspect I will have an opportunity for "take two" when and if my time is right. In the meantime I will do my very best, to be the very best I can be and work towards a greater understanding of why I exist, what I can do to contribute to the wellness of the physical beings on earth and of course listen to those who have tread the path before me and those who are experiencing their journey with me.  


I welcome your comments and feedback. This journal and journey of life education is not achieved alone and although, I am advertising this is purely to cover costs of generating traffic to the site.

Kes xx

The Seven Worlds - A Spiritual Astrology Journey

" Though the mountain and the daisy, the man, the horse, and a piece of iron, are composed of one ultimate atomic substance, we do not say that the daisy is a finer form of iron. Similarly it is impossible to explain in words the change or difference in physical matter when it is broken up into desire-stuff. If there were no difference it would be amenable to the laws of the Physical World, which it is not." - Max Heindel

In order for me to understand and embrace the philosophy and the science of Astrology I have began my learning from a knowledge and a desire towards faith that something exists through the study of the seven worlds and its relationship to life on earth. Spiritual Astrology concerns itself with the stella forces that exist and exercising our free will power, we may direct life as we wish, in harmony with laws of nature.  



Astrology is a method to determine cosmic relationships as a whole.

My search for a  master or a christian mystic whose own study had a somewhat close match to my uneducated "feelings" was realized when reading the life work of Max Heindel.  Max Heindel ultimately founded the Rosicrucian Fellowships following many years of research, learning and developing his scriptures that were largely as a result of his own experiences throughout his life.  His devotion to the education and therefore self destiny is evident in each and every piece of study material that was written and distributed to his students during the early 20th century.

The principle message of faith in the spiritual, in astrology that combine science of astronomy is interwoven in his brilliant series of letters and study material that was distributed to his students  in the years just prior to his death. 

Although I am a beginner student and in the first modules of this journey of faith and trust, it is my belief that the celestial bodies do influence the lives of those who inhabit earth, the nature of order and the affairs of the living and breathing . This is not born out of misguided emotion or desire, but one that is proven through science. My direct intention is to replicate justice to the interpretation and the seriousness of Max Heindel's work and that of his followers. To achieve this I will present in order of my study schedule an overview of his teaching and what I have learned from this. The purpose again is not to sell, or mislead, rather to enlighten and increase mine and your knowledge of the individual power that exists within our own birth right. 

Fundamentally, according to Elman Bacher, Astrology is an exact science because: Every factor in a correctly calculated horoscope is a symbolic representation of an exact and impartial effect of a specific cause. It represents the cosmic and immutable law of cause and effect operating in the conditions and experiences of a human being on his progress of many incarnations. Nothing in a correctly calculated horoscope is there by chance, accident, heredity, or whim of blind fate. Every planetary position and aspect is one factor of the subject's soul body, one phase of his consciousness, one milestone on his spiritual path. 

Prior to commencing my first set of lessons, I was asked to complete a preliminary reading and assignment that included a lesson on the solar system , the Seven Worlds and their spiritual relationship to those on earth and beyond. 

The beginning, the manifestation, the great being, as described by use of many words, the god, the spark , the expansion of gas and so on need not take up too much thought, as to me, I exist, so do you, and we will again. In order for me to connect to the belief of this being, I must build on what is evident. The evolution of man kind, the cause and effect of nature, the evidence of the universe, the planets that circle our sun, our moon and the changes in density, birth and death of all living beings, all matters life within the universe,  supports the very concept of astrology as a science and a lasting terminology for spiritual belief. 

The World of Virgin Spirits and world of Divine Spirits, is differentiated by the spark of flame, though prior to the journey to the beginning of time and distance.  The seven worlds are described as holding different planes of existence, of varying density and vibrations. The are not separated by space or distance, as they are states of spirit matter. 

Therefore the great being influence and occupy their own realm and those of greater density including our world. These seven worlds are subdivided into seven regions, the planes of evolution of the solar system where God threefold lives. 

So a solar system is born in degrees of development. At the beginning the highest level worked at these as the lowest levels were least evolved. The least intelligent and evolved, the more dependent upon outside help, later some of the less evolved carried the work a little further. 

As evolution occurs the less that is required of the spirit world and therefore evolution continues. Self consciousness is awakened. The matter known as Virgin Spirits is second highest in the seven worlds. It has divine consciousness, but no sub consciousness. The creative mind, the power obtained by evolution.  

Further evolution is carried into the third world of Divine Spirits and is mostly oblivious to the outer condition, as like man when in a deep trance.

The Life Spirits, the forth world, relate to the ego, the solar logo, the home of individuality and is related to Libra in astrological terms. It home to Christ. It is the higher memory of nature. The heart of the cosmos pattern and the source of existence. Some say it is the musical harmony.

Note: The world Christ means the annotated "one" and we are all "one" !!!

If we consider these world are invisible, and that we all have potential to see but we must understand that it is due to our latency to our finer and higher senses, but capable if trained adequately. It is with this in mind that we must be careful of placing too much trust in the clairvoyant who may not have the credentials nor experience in seeing. 

The higher worlds are the causes or the force and will not understand the physical world, our world until we know the others. 

Often those interested in the higher worlds disregard the power of the physical world. Again there  is a balance and a respect required for the evolution, the relationship and the historical empirical and anecdotal evidence of worlds, the cosmos that influence our universe. 

The fifth world is the world of abstract thought and is astrologically related to Scorpio. It is the world of tone. 

The sixth and closest world to the etheric and chemical world of the physical, our world, is known as the world of desire.

The force is quickened to move in this and that way with desire, wishes, passion and feelings. It is the home of archangels and is the memory of nature and the symbol of Aquarius. We will discus the principles of the Aquarius Age and the evolution of the ages and its influence on the world, as described by Max Heindel in later posts.

The worlds of matter, physical, thought and desire are constantly mirroring the spirit worlds. We must also consider that man is a complex being who possesses the lowest, the most dense to the highest or subtle energy. A dense body is the vehicle to fetch and carry, whereas the vital body is the energy the ether. This is where the clairvoyant may see visions just outside of our body. The desire body is emotion and is the finer vehicle of energy. 

One may question my need, my burning thirst for knowledge. It is a desire, a passion that one must possess in order to find ones purposes, ones answers and ones evolution. This man had no desire to gain power of his followers, rather, in my view, I have faith after reading his letters, some of his literature, that his intention was to educate, to use the power that is within us. The power of knowledge, the occult science that proves to me, the seeing, the believing.

Max's Heindel's teaching also, and importantly provides me, the beginner student, with a truth, a trust in the knowledge that I can blend the heart and the mind through uniting what I see in the physical and what I cannot in the spiritual worlds.

The Rosicrucian purpose and philosophy is highlighting a logical explanation that is both reasonable and intellectual, yet does not abuse the power of the spiritual and the natural order of the seven worlds. 

To become a master of self, to creatively use my experience, as I study, for the truthful causes, impact and effects, not simply for the knowledge, but an inward enlightenment and trust in what I cannot see.

My first group of lessons will be significant as I aim to understand, the astrological signs, the houses, the geometry and the science associated with time, and its importance to an accurate natal, or birth chart.

In closing this post, I have condensed the past three days and countless hours of study in what will be the most signifcant work of passion that I have undertaken in my life to-date. Intense, yet absolutely fits with something I feel is right and just. 

I would pleased to receive invites for discussion, as I am a student of life and do consider a sharing of feelings, thoughts and debate helpful in my quest to learn to create my own destiny that is in balanced with the physical and the unseen worlds of the universe, and the cosmos. 

Kes xxx

   

Chapter 6 Trusting What I Cannot See! Spiders and Cobwebs!

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud!

It is a Saturday morning, I am drinking coffee and smoking way too many cigarettes. Perched in my bed overlooking the beauty of the rice fields, the garden, the stray dog that has adopted me !! I begin to question!

What has love got to do with spirituality or faith? In order for me to trust what I do not see, it makes sense for me to explore this question and how spiritualism relates to my meditation and my desire to learn more on the subject of faith.

Faith! The official description of faith, is to believe in something or someone without specific proof or evidence. Wow! 

This is significant, to trust someone or something beyond doubt or fear, is to give of the entirety of yourself. How does this measure in a world that is often cruel and unkind? A world where what we believed was safe and orderly, can be taken from us and broken into tiny pieces.

Can I possibly aspire or achieve this feeling, this wise position in life and if I were to believe, an after life ? A life beyond the physical world Phew! How can I trust what I cannot not see? Who am I looking to trust? Is it me, you or something beyond?

I have read many writings related to specific faith and theological perspectives. Most have a clear message that signifies an ultimate love of self and in turn of others whilst maintaining the natural order of nature. 

It is positive to write and to document an ideal, a philosophy , but how many human beings really live to the doctrines, or subscription, that these many religious orders promote. I see many religious orders that sell their place of worship.

I see many people struggle to comprehend the complexities and the control that is expected of humanity in order to maintain the status quo, the faith!! I see often, the expectation by their followers, the burden of financial, or social and often the conflicts that arise from faith.  There are the faceless people interpreting original material from a select few and the followers who commit crime and other monstrosities against man kind during their working day and then serve their faith one day of the week.  How can a preacher begin to know the individual from his place of separation and sermon to the mass? Why would I trust that the interpretation and the message is with knowledge of my placement?  Is this not prostitution of the spiritual world?  A market and sale and purchase of emotions, of spiritual power!

Is it not then education, through living and practicing ones faith, in ones home and in ones life circle that matters most? Is it not simply about patience, love, nurture and wholesome goodness with a measure of tolerance? Is this trust? Is this faith? Trust that another has the knowledge of you in his or her hands? Faith that this will be nurtured equally and with love, with kindness? Is this faith and trust apparent when your partner remains your lover and friend? And you in turn provide the same? Your inspiration through respect and desire? Is this true freedom and independence?

I have met many individuals who through their families and friends interpretation of their faith, are suffering and in conflict as they live in this physical world. The world of technology, of wanting, of power and often greed takes precedence over loving kindness.

So, I question, what is it that I am struggling for? My sense of freedom and independence, my faith! Do I not have this already? Freedom and independence means the right to choose to be happy, to freeing the mind of negative thoughts.

Yet, so often we, consider freedom as a physical action a "doing" rather than a "being". 

As I described earlier, faith means to believe in someone or something. I have it, right? 

If I have all of this, then why am I questioning myself and others? It is not that simple, as the conflict begins when we place an expectation on others and this in turn challenges your own ability to remain faithful to yourself and protect the natural order of nature, in both the physical world and the spiritual world, the unseen! 

And herein lies, the risk factor that many of us encounter throughout our life on earth. Ha, ha, when I read this, I laugh at the absurdity of my words.

There is little to challenge! Individuals experience and grow at different rates, different times and with different reference or rule books to guide them. Others have little or no guidance and will stumble and fall until the message is clear to them too! Sometimes individuals will not receive the message or the learning that is necessary in order for them to grow beyond the physical experience and the structured chemical energy that maintains earth and its inhabitants. So why is it difficult to love all? What makes loving one easier than another?

Like myself, many carry on their life touching, but not embracing anything that cannot be seen. Often a crisis, a significant moment in their lives, forces some focus towards what cannot be seen and a realization that happiness and love is intertwined and connected to the positive thought of the individual.

Positive thinking is learned, or as I am now suggesting, forced upon some who have suffered through the ignorance of self and others.  Meditation has provided me with the ability to maintain a positive disposition. Meditation and Yoga are maintaining my body, and my consciousness with healthy thoughts, with positive self love messages. 

I must now find a will and a way to still, to stand up and be counted.  If I am to have faith then I must trust in something and or someone that is worthy of devotion, patience and unequivocal love. Silly! It is that simple!

I read today a passage and it said in order to demonstrate your faith you must be able to practice and display the entirety of that faith in your own home, not just in words, or on Sundays.  You must choose to trust and be trusted.

To exercise ones will, with love, should not be a difficult action. To demonstrate love, the big love and the small love, is an exercise of free will. Of want, of desire and of love of oneself. So what do I believe in? What is it that I am faithful to?

I like many millions, have a fascination with Astrology and have dabbled in many religious beliefs in search of a connection and reason.  Astrology is a combination of Astronomy and Spiritualism. Science and a belief!

I have followed my favorite astrology reader and I have studied the characteristics of each sun sign. I am conscious of the affects the major planets and the moon may have on the weather, and therefore ,fundamentally believe that the physical world, earth must be interconnected to these planets, the zodiac, the spiritual realm.  Yet, I have little more knowledge other than a blind faith.

With respect, many astrologists around the world are big money spinners, as is the clairvoyant, the tarot reader and many others mystical, or so called mystical therapists. I suggest, for me, that is why I have remained on the edge, just touching but not buying into a faith.

How could one buy and sell faith? Many religious orders buy and sell in order to maintain their physical structure, their possible power and many negative aspects that we read about in religious circles.

What can I contribute, how can I embrace and yet remain connected and engaging with people who enter my life, both for the long time and the short time? How can I contribute without expecting a return? What is it in the study of Astrology, that raises such conflict in the educated man? History is rife with tales of prosecution, of ridicule! Yet it is a science and there is a commonsense to the philosophy.

The interpretation is the key, as with everything in life, you must know your subject and the subject must trust, and give oneself completely. The word trust is a motivator by much we encounter and avoid in life. We often place a price on trust too. This is often referred to as loyalty in our business realm. Trusting someone with your time of birth, your birth date and location is huge in the circle of true Astrology. If you believe, this information about yourself, is the most critical you own. Forget your bank account numbers, your education and employment status. It is your birth date! It is your  unseen, your spiritual being and your potential. My understanding of Astrology is that your planets at birth are fixed and the movements thereafter are a guide to how they may influence you, not predictive, not telling. It promotes free will, not cemented fate, nor control.

I believe I have been given an opportunity as as I have the capacity to learn, the ability to engage and the desire to reach out to many. Studying the philosophy and the methods applied to Astrology as a science and a faith in the worlds beyond that our physical eye can see! I may be in a position to part with positive knowledge and therefore contribute to the best of my ability.

I realize this journey is leading me on a path of education in another form! It is a path I choose to follow and lead!

A path I wish to experience. I am confident as I journey onwards, inwards and outwards in my fascinating life, that, the answers, at least for me, will be forthcoming. The happiness I seek to sustain my love of life, my wanting for a life that is safe from harm by others, and an ongoing education in order for me to learn and teach others if so permitted is within my grasp.

Speak soon!

Kes xx

A simple guide to the many forms of Meditation ! IT IS ALL IN THE BALANCE !

"Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend"says Bruce Lee

As promised, I have "researched" the history of meditation and also attempted to outline the major methods that practitioners use in modern studios. I must point out that I am not an expert in meditation, rather I am a passionate believer in the benefits regardless of the method you choose for yourself.  

There has been much documented and often mystery surrounding meditation. There is nothing fearful except for fear itself, and there is nothing mysterious or fearful with Meditation.

Meditation is, in simple undiluted terms, an exercise for our mind. Yet, the mere fact that we exercise the mind with deep breathing, yoga style breathing, meditation is therefore beneficial for your body and if you believe, it will directly benefit your soul. I will use another word for soul!

I will call it "being", for this exercise! The reason I am suggesting an alternative word for soul, is that again our fears or beliefs are often associate negatively when we talk of the soul, of the spirit, as being wishy washy and with little substance. Western civilization has to a large degree disowned anything thing that is not seen by the naked eye. 

Meditation, in all methods is derived from Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism. All forms of meditation aims to simply quieten the mind. 

Breath and Navel Meditation, is reportedly the oldest method and still one of the favored principles of meditation in practice. It simply involves control of the breath and focuses on different parts of the body, mainly the navel in order to reach a state of calmness and relaxation. It is also referred to as "Zen".

Yoni Mudra is another form of Meditation, where the principle method is to use your fingers to cover your ears, eyes and mouth. This brings the focus to these body parts and assists with the breathing pattern. As you breathe out you lift your finger away from your eyes and then your ears and you repeat this whilst deep breathing.

Walking Meditation, as the name suggest, focuses on the step, the walking, your feet and your breathe. You walk and breathe yoga style, whilst focusing on the foot steps. Simple meditation for those who have little time to devote to other forms of meditation.

Vipassana or Mindfulness meditation is a practice well known to the Buddhist.  The philosophy is that you aim to be aware of what you do at the precise moment.  The four key points to the well known method of meditation is to abstain from killing, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct and use of toxins, such as alcohol, tobacco and so on. Annapana is practiced for three and a half days and is focuses on your breath. On the last day, you can speak and return to an extroverted life.  This practice is often the most challenging, but also the most rewarding as you journey inwards.

Journey meditation involves visualization to achieve a meditated state. It focuses on erasing anxiety and its purpose is to  replace the specific problem with a peaceful option. In fact to express this method correctly, I will quote something I read today - "When the mind is full of peace it does not run off and start to worry" !

Vibrant or chanting meditation is one of the different methods in modern practice. It uses a repetitious chant of one or multiple words or sound that become the focal point. 

Movement meditation is also another method that is gaining popularity. It choose dance as a focus and like chanting is repetitive in its movement and flow.

Body Scanning is a method where again you deep breath, yoga breathing, however you concentrate the breath to reach specific body parts. Such as your stomach, your liver and so on. The method expects that you follow a set routine and take the breathe all through your body. 

Reiki Meditation was redeveloped by Sensei during the 19th century and his it roots steep in Tendai Buddhism and  Shintoism It aims to balance the flow of energy in order to obtain enlightenment and peace through knowing what to do with one life and being affected by nothing. A well known method in modern therapies it is often referred to as Chakra healing. History reports that Mr Sensei fasted for 21 days and performed a meditation named the Lotus Repentance. This comes from Tendai Buddhism. 

Transcendental meditation has raised much debate as it requires no specific technique, other than sitting quietly in a chair and possibly deep yoga breathing in order to refresh and rejuvenate. It claims to increase creativity and intellect. 

Past Life Regression was first recorded during ancient Greek and Egyptian area. It is also recording  in Ancient Indian Verdic Literature and is known as Prati Prasav. Simaran is the known name given in Jain Scriptures. PLR gained western world wide recognition, through none other than Mr Sigmund Freud. Mr Frued believed  bringing the unconscious mind to the the conscious is necessary in order for one to make choices and heal. Jung, later postulated collaborative unconsciousness. Edgar Cayce, 1927, founded the popular theory known as Knowing Transpersonal psychology and through meditation aimed to study  self transcendent or spiritual aspects of the human experience.  

With behavior science historically involved in the use of hypnotherapy and with Frued's and his contemporary's philosophy linked to the regressed memory and  meditation, we can relate to why it appears the PLR is often associated with the health profession, rather than spiritual practice. 

Yet if we consider all forms meditation outlined, we must acknowledge that their principles and much of the practice is similar in each method. Deep breathing, relaxation and focus is common in all practices. Equally the aim is to a create a trance like state in order to free the mind of endless chatter and confusion. How the trance state is obtained appears to be the major difference in  methods. 

For example, the chanting method also includes "laughing meditation". I recently attended a class and found it to be overwhelming and as I was not comfortable with this type of display, increased the feeling of chatter and anxiety. Perhaps, if I were in a group that had bonded and were familiar with each other, the experience may have been more helpful.  Nonetheless, I am certain for some individuals that idea of chanting appeals and will be of benefit.

To free the mind of clutter, to create a generous flow of energy, through deep breathing , free flow through our body and talk to our organs as though they were individual, living creatures, make sense to me. 

It is not important if and why we believe in past lives, what is important is we accept that our memory, like a computer holds loads of rubbish and mixed up messages that is strangling our thought patterns, or if you prefer our "air waves" to a point where we cannot cope and anxiety escalates. 

Initially I considered PLR meditation as a form of initial health intervention as my body and mind was not connected and balanced. However now this approach will remain as my focus and regular practice. 

Yet as I explore all of the variations and opportunities through meditation methodologies I feel that I must study many formulas before committing to one course of life long practice. PLR has its place in my life as the hypnotic component ensures a simple trance like state that allows your mind and body to rest and bring unresolved concerns to the surface. 

Body scanning has also proved to me to be exceptionally relaxing, stress reducing and cleansing of the organs through deep breathing. My therapist encourage a routine that included specific visualized colors of breath for each organ and the routine was to be complete in strict order and ideally at the same time each day. Her reasoning was that , like children, our body responds to boundaries and orderly routines that are predictable.

Slight change of topic, tonight I was talking to my dear friend and made the comment that I was not sure what other studies I would like to do when I am in Australia. Her wise words were,to let it flow, the answer is within you. Well, I now have that answer without me controlling. or worrying my precious mind over needless questions. With this tucked in my positive memory I will now enjoy a good nights rest and decide tomorrow where the topic for the next post may take us! 

Love and light everyone!

Kes xx

 

 

Past Life Regression - an insight into the mind

Past Life Regression uses a form of relaxation or hypnosis in order to tap into the memory of past life. Some practitioners believe we carry the memory of past lives into our current relationships and by exploring the past we can address issues that may be hindering the potential for a satisfying current life. 

The are equally as many critics, who argue that this practice is mumbo jumbo and is a perfect foil for those seeking spiritual experiences, nothing more, nothing less. There is also the belief that most people who undertake PLR for solutions, or answers spiritually, or in a clinical setting, do so as they fundamentally believe in reincarnation. 

I am here to say categorically that this is not true! 

In my case, I wax and wane, between wanting to believe in a past life and therefore reincarnation, to the expectation of requiring proof in order for me to accept the possibility that I may have lived a life of an abused woman, an adulteress, and bore three children in one life and was barren in another. haha! What lives I have lead! Yet some women experience, much more grief than I and gee, where is the help?

What is important throughout the specific program, where you engage with a therapist, is that regardless, of your belief, your mind, your memory surfaces to allow you to explore your feeling, thinking and ultimately your behavior. Past or present, is irrelevant in the scheme of the holistic approach to healing.

With an experienced therapist and group workshop there is many opportunities to revel the messages within the dream state, the memory, past and present and relate it to your current circumstances. What you interpret is the important aspect as it will allow you to unblock and cleanse your entire body of toxins and unhealthy thinking.

Many people have successfully given up cigarettes whilst using hypnotherapy. Equally as many have changed eating and dietary habits. Others, like me,  have unpacked long held beliefs that frees them to get on with their lives.

Many commercial companies have used meditation and or PLR in order for their staff to exceed and excel.

Many elite and celebrities use forms of meditation and PLR to address fears and limitations that reduce their success, or option for success. This is not a frightening process. It is a method of building self awareness and strengthening our core self.

Certainly, had I been clinically well, I do not believe I would have gained the outcomes that I achieved. Would I have enjoyed the experience? Would I have gained any improvements to my outlook on life . Yes, of course I would have. Just as I am today, just as I will tomorrow. 

For those who suffer anxiety and or depression, the program, coupled with the organ detoxification, will provide you with some fantastic tools to manage your emotions.. The link between anxiety and many clinical mood disorders is well documented. I recall a fabulous psychologist, who outlined very clearly and simply, the relationship that anxiety has in many illness. I will attempt to relay her descriptor, as I think it is very important for all to recognize when anxiety is causing you or family and friends to either make poor decisions and or limit their productivity.

"A little anxiety is good for all. We need some anxiety to get up in the morning, to remind us how to behave. When anxiety reduces our functioning, we are reaching a dangerous position that can lead mostly sensible, sociably comfortable people to withdraw, to isolate and increase risk of serious illness.

Anxiety left unchecked is potentially dangerous and may lead to many mental illnesses. Often depression will follow and if this is not managed, some of the more challenging illness can present to the sufferer. Obsessive compulsive disorders, many of the symptoms associated with drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, indiscriminate sexual activities.

Anxiety is a significant problem in moderns society, as once a suffers begin self medication the diagnosis become increasingly complex and difficult."

Often throughout life, we experience bouts of anxiety, or panic attacks. The stresses of modern living is often toxic and sometimes we do not realize the affects our work is having on our mental and physical well being. This does not mean you will fall prey to the many depressive disorders or loose the ability to function. What it does mean is that you need to manage the anxiety.

Relaxation through meditation or if you choose hypnotherapy  will increase your ability to manage difficult situations and circumstances. 

You may just feel you want to improve your own impression of your life! Hypnotherapy can support many purposes for undertaking a program. What the hypnotherapy  has done for me, as you will have read, has transformed my view of myself. It has also allowed me to reconsider what is important in my life, and how I engage with others.

My program was a mere three days, three half days, to be exact, with a therapist. I now continue with my meditation routinely and take myself to a light trance in order to relax and rejuvenate. I am also capable of reducing anxiety or conflict at whim. I can withdraw and relax before reacting to situations where I am uncomfortable.

 I believe that without meeting my therapist and undertaking this program, I would have spent many years learning to cope and most like not fully recovering from grief,loss and ultimately as we know, my lack of  self love.

I now plan to continue to meditate daily and aim to undertake more workshops where I can address some of my frustrating behaviors, such as laziness when it comes to exercise, cigarette smoking and general health routines. I am confident that PLR hypnotherapy and the many benefits of meditation can and will continue to support my life improvements.

If, like me you have discovered and interest in the spiritual forum, then that is fantastic! In my view and experience to-date, exploring spirituality is safe, enjoyable, sociable and a positive outlet for our entertainment, our energy and above all our happiness. Spirituality is lacking in Western civilization. Our beliefs are often shallow and self interested.

What harm can come if we learn to look for the spirit as a guide, or lean on a spiritual belief in times of need. We also gain something meaningful, beyond our next pay check or night out on the town? If spirituality can provide a focus to reinforce the goodness in human beings, then with meditation we have perfect accompaniment.

For my next post I plan to explore the many forms of meditation, the historical perspective and where PLR specifically obtained its foot hold within the clinical and spiritual divide. 

Love to all

Kes xx

. 

Chapter 5 Spiders and Cobwebs - Spinning Angels- Out of Control!

   

The sights and sounds of magic! The chickens singing in chorus, the ducks waddling in line, the sun in its glory, the grass waving at me! Yet I think of the Camel!  The Camel! A sensitive elegant beast! The hollows in the ground that soak up the rain! The joy of shade that is for all to be! Something lasting!  

Ha ha! I am on my way home, home to Phuket. I am excited, even with a terrible cold and yet,  certain that I was going to be very busy and playing into the wee hours of the mornings. I had been living a quiet and reclusive existence, so the idea of a few late nights was appealing. My alter ego is coming to the fore!

I was picked up from the airport and we drove to our friends home, my haven for the next few weeks. Our first weekend was devoted to saying farewell to another “mate”. Funnily, everyone expected that I would want to go out and dance and generally make myself at home in and around our local bars and venues. This was the last activity I wanted, I was most happy sitting in my friends poolside lounge chair! This chair had my name on it. I used this to contemplate, to explain myself to my friends, to work and to cry!

 Over the course of three or more days, my friends had received clearly the message of how unwell I was and that I wanted desperately to use this time to heal once and for all. The spark even the mask could not hide my sense of doom and gloom. I was exhausted! Tired of feeling like I was alone, even with loved ones surrounding me. Why did I feel I had little when logic says I have much to be thankful. My intellect tells me I have abundance, yet I am out of control. Emotionally I am broken! My heart is tired, my body is weak, my stomach in knots. I am not well!

My friend miraculously and without knowing my current state of mind, introduced me to a  hypnotherapist.
  

A formal description of hypnotherapy and PLR, is that it is concerned with subjective experiences and from a psychological view considers the pattern of thought. Knowing this opened the concept readily as my work experience with disenfranchised groups had exposed me to many therapeutic methods of counseling and self help programs.

I was ready to try anything. It was described to me as an emotional and organ detox. I was up for it. I was so sick of feeling  fear, behaving like victim in my own mind, riddled with uncertainties and little or no ability to commit and achieve ones goals that once came so easy for me.

I am not going to explain the methods! This can be done through alternative posts.

The first sessions resulted in me being acutely aware of the possibility of having lived past lives.

Now, I to this day, do not profess to believe or not believe. 

Either way, if it were a past life, great, if it was not, it certainly assisted with answering some questions for my current life. Was it my memory, my subconscious, or had I lived in an earlier time? I followed the images that I saw during the state of meditation. I tried to make sense of the images. I discussed what I saw openly, with amusement and excitement that I actually viewed streets and dress of a period not known to me. The research lead me to many countries and discussion of the period of time. 

The research also served to show me that history does repeat itself and that in essence human behavior remains fragile and emotionally strangled. Western civilization as most know, has little, or no spirituality, it is on the brink of failure unless we can unite and reproduce a balance. 

If I am to believe:

I lived in the in the 16^th and 19^th century. I was initially confused as I had originally thought I was located in  Berlin, however further sessions proved it to be Ireland. What is interesting is that I did some research and found evidence of my mother’s family emigrating from Germany (of French/Italian) to Ireland. This was frightening and exhilarating.

So you might ask, what has this got to do with healing and forgiving oneself?. What the therapy did for me was to lead me to a current life, albeit when I was a young child. I experienced a warm and loving childhood. I have parents who continue to hold hands and are clearly in love. My benchmarks! Yet I was a rebellious teenager, I was always looking and searching for that exciting moment. I was reckless and often problematic for my young parents.

I had little reason to connect my negative and destructive adult choices, with the seemingly simple home life of youth. I had love in abundance. A large extended family and grandparents who supported and were involved in our daily lives. 

What I realized  was that I did not love myself, due to the behaviors I exhibited as a teenager. Due to the unhealthy attachments I had with young men and I did not feel worthy of my families love. This has taken me all of my adult life to pinpoint my truth, my relationship with my parents and now the question is how to address this! My parents, in my view, were fearful and did not trust what I might do next. Sound familiar? 

Well I carried this through to every relationship. I now had an opportunity through regressive meditation to correct my self belief and self thought. I am also in a position to have a healthy relationship with my parents, with my own children and with my many friends. 

In one session I saw that:

I was abused by my partner in an earlier life and had three children. I protected those children at the cost of my own well being and yet I remained devoted and faithful. This is a contradiction and not a healthy option for children. If I am to believe in past lives, then I have carried this hurt to the present. It has manifested into my relationships.

In reality, this life, I held the belief that I had abandoned my children, as my work was first and foremost on my mind. It was not always this way! I had not set out to have a career. It was circumstances, again protecting and enabling an unhealthy relationship to continue at the expense of my children.  

I, in my view, was not built for the harsh realities of career and working life. I had given up on my own power, my own belief and values of motherhood in order to provide food and shelter. I had given up my dream of  creativity, of  loving encounters and of  providing beauty in my life and that of my family. I was a dreamer, a romantic!  This loss, and burden I felt with the entire responsibility for the financial health of the family was what I resented most and it manifested in many aspects of my last relationship.

I was barren in another life, however had the love and commitment of one man regardless of the ability to conceive or not. I had an affair, that remained my secret until on my death bed 

The affair was with my soul mate who had been the perpetrator of abuse in my earlier life.

What was this meaning in this life? What if, I were to believe, was this a karmic response that I was experiencing in this life? Or could it be more simple!   

Could it be that my memory was leading me to this point?. Was my sub conscience through meditation and hypnotherapy providing some validity to my existence, some excuse?  SSome karmic response to my own behaviors?

I had an affair when I was young, Was I reinforcing that I am not worthy? In essence I should never trust me, right?

Could I have felt that I betrayed myself, that I lived in an existence that was unworthy due to my own self belief and thought patterns? 

 Was it, my subconscious mind, interpreting how I really felt?

Either way the experience opened the mind and my heart to heal. I spent three weeks in virtual recluse, exhausted emotionally and physically. I worked hard at making some sense of why I could not let go of hurt, why I was attracted to unhealthy male relationships, why I was unwell and why I was persecuting myself.

I did the prescribed exercises not once, but often three times in one day. I took myself to a hypnotic state and meditated. I asked questions, I begged for answers. I saw pictures, colors, memories of when I was young. I dissected it all. I did dream research and listened to my friends’ talk of aura colors and how it related in my view, to the colors I saw when I was meditating.

I went to a temple in my trance. I saw my guide, I embraced and trusted in this therapy. Each day I was feeling stronger emotionally.

I also knew that the time had come for me to adopt a different approach to my relationships with men. I could no longer use behaviors that many women have used for centuries. I could no longer justify my behaviors of the past. I would attract the wrong people into my life. I needed to become friends with my male companions. I must endorse my own set of values, the ones that I did not apply in earlier relationships and look what I did to myself!

I was certain at this point that the man I fondly discuss is one in the same in my sub conscious or previous lives.

Here lies the problems, the solutions, the past and the future. This person was also my guide. He was also in essence the male friend so prominent during the past six or so months of this life.

This was point of anger and frustration for me, as I could not believe that my sub conscious was still playing me for the protector of the ill, the evil and possibly I was to continue as the enabler.

I had played this role all of my life, and my sub consciousness or past lives was letting me know this in no certain terms through the daily meditation.

I was beside myself!  I discussed this at length with my friends and the therapist. My therapists view, as a believer in past life, suggested that what I experienced was in fact my soul mate and we have experienced previous lives together. Good and Evil. What we do in this life to break the pattern is to learn and set destiny in its positive path in order for the remainder of this and the next life to be content and happy.

Or, if I consider that it is my sub conscience talking, I am just playing out my own negative thought and actions. The man has nothing to do with the events that may or may not unfold. I was projecting my fear and lack of trust for my own decisions and intuition!

So, am I considering, that I can be happy when we have experienced such trauma in this and or, if you believe, past lives?

Am I considering it possible that my experiences have all been for a positive outcome, that there was in fact a grand plan for me to experience in this life, the pain and suffering in order to come to this point?

Have I met my soul mate and yet closed the door to him through my abandonment of myself and my own fear of failure and belief in ones own goodness?

Am I considering that I can erase the scars, as these scars are a symbol of my own behavior, not the problem of others?

Am I contemplating a day without anxiety? Without fear!

I believe I was feeling all of the above. Complex yes, though, it is how I proceeded with my daily meditation. I constantly asked for images of a healthy relationship with men and women. I asked for validation, confirmations that I had paid my karmic debt for living a life of half truths and living a life that until now was predominately one  without a balanced dose equally shared between spiritualism, and worldly pleasures.

 

I learned that in order for me to have a healthy relationship with men and women, that I must set my own boundary. I must trust my first instinct and consider that I can only be hurt if I have an expectation of another. I have only one expectation and that is myself to continue to learn and open my heart to the possibilities that are available should I choose to take myself on a continuous journey with honest loving encounters.

The boundary I have established is simple and it is set in concrete. I will not allow anyone to interrupt my own peace, nor will I react to negative behavior. I will continue to provide my love to all, share my heart and embark on a memorable positive end to 2011. 

Throughout the four weeks in Phuket. I did hear from my dearest man. The meeting did not occur. The universe have other plans, and as I sit here now, I know it was for the best, the best for the future and the best outcome for me!

I believe had I made a physical connection, my therapy and the work I am doing now would have been interrupted and stalled. I believe if soul mates connect, and fate is at work, then destiny will set it right. 

Rightful karma is to be restored as there are no time limits on big or small love!

 

I would be kidding myself and you, if I said that I was an altered person. This was not the purpose of the meditation for me and the entirety of the program was to assist and aid in me becoming a well person. I wanted to become as I always was intended to be. I, like all , want to be the best person I can be. I still want to learn and become an enlightened person fall of passion and joy for what the world has to offer.

I would like to be trusted by my peers and my family. There is much to grieve in the world, yet if we do not stop and take in what is beautiful and joyous in our  world we will loose it, as grief serves no long term purpose as it goes hand in hand with violence and destruction. If we do not embrace the good and the beautiful, our world will continue on its spiral downwards. 

I am committed to meditation and will continue to undergo hypnotherapy for the many health aspects that I am yet to face.

I may be of an age with aspects of me are weathered and showing signs of decay, but my heart is young and as vibrant as those heady days of youth.  

It has been eight weeks since my visit to Phuket and I am in Bali on my own and as happy as I have ever been. Has anything changed outwardly? No!

 I have not met many people yet in Bali, as I do not have to rush. Slowly, Slowly!

My circumstances in respect of the past are still unresolved. I am now happy to embrace the past. It is my past after all, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have two wonderful children and the man I shared part of my life with, he did the best he could!  Our relationship ran its course!

 My income level is very low and yet,

 I am sleeping ten hours a day!

 I am eating well!
I am vivid in my imagination!
I am trusting my intuition!
I am assertive though fair !

 I am content to "be", to be still!

 My chatter is reduced or at least it is self promoting and a healthy chatter! 

Should I feel compromised by others behavior, my armor protects me and I withdraw! I am me, I am complex, funny, silly and all of the things I was and I am all of the aspects that I will become as I travel and meet the unique and wonderful people that are part of my world.

Mostly though, I am now happy to dance with my shadow.

In summary, you may be wondering why I had the compulsion to share my inner most feelings and thoughts with largely people I have known briefly. Why I would potentially subject my children and family with pain by my own admissions? Why I would risk being ridiculed or thought of being unstable at best, and or unreliable at worst? 

I, during a moment of madness, promised I would honor the practice of meditation, and demonstrate  my faith in the universe, and spiritualism, should I wake for the day with joy in my heart, without fear in my liver, with a healthy volume of good air in my lungs, without anxiety in my stomach, with a spring  in my step and sunshine through my vision. 

Lastly, my promise to my creator includes a request from  you, my  friends! 

If you know of anyone in your life who is suffering, or not reaching their full potential, due to loss, disappointment, fear, anxiety, depression, anger, any aspects of negative thought, or conditioning,  please ask them to read my journal and consider combining meditation and yoga as a positive approach to self healing and wellness. 

Past life regression meditation is also proven to be valuable, for managing weight, for drugs and alcoholic abuse and many other damaging habits in our modern world!

It is also known to be helpful for physical illness, as I have demonstrated, and it is thought to be benficial for those suffering terminal or chronic disease. 

We can heal ourselves!

I would welcome hearing your thoughts for future discussion.

Big and small love to you all!

Kes xx